I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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