Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
