We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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