Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
