She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
