He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
