Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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