I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
