is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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