his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize