Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Randomize
