I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
