how can u be prego again
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
