I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
