i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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