My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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