Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
