I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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