we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
