It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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