How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
