if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
