So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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