i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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