So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
