Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
