Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize