Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
