Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
