So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
