just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
