You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
