did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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