Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
being pregnant is like rehab
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
