there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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