mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
