Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize