my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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