what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
