This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
