so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
