thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Randomize
