Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
