I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
