they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
