"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he thought i was a dude.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Randomize
