What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
