i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
