omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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