I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize