If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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