You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
