batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
