it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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