the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Randomize
