Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
