WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
