I wannas sexs uuuuu
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
No stitches, just platelets and will power
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
