Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You can't just leave with hair like that
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
