do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
