Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
