toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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