I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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