Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
