I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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