I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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