carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
