5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
