a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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