I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize