I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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