I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
