I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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