Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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