he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
